The Possessed Patient
by CSIwannabe
Summary: This was just something I wrote for an English class. I will admit it is kinda stupid, but you might like it. It got an A grade if that helps entice you.


A/N: This is a little story I wrote for my english class for a Halloween themed story. Any foul language was inserted _after_ it was turned in for a grade (I got an A on it! ) ) Enjoy!

A/N 2: The possessed patient is played by one of my friends, but her name has been changed and she agreed to be used in it.

**The Possessed Patient**

"House! Get to the clinic right now!" Lisa Cuddy yelled as rounded the corner on her daily mission to get Greg House to the clinic. _I swear, I am going to have to start putting a damn bell on him so that he isn't so difficult to find. _"There you are."

"Oh, well look at that. It's just now 5 o'clock. I guess I can't be in the clinic since it's time for me to go home," House replied hoping that she wouldn't keep him here any longer than he needed to be here and that she wouldn't notice him starting to slowly edge away.

"Fine. I will only make you take care of one person today, but you are going to have to go to the psych ward to take care of her. For once your cane might be useful for more than you trying to get out of clinic duty and walking," Cuddy replied as she handed him a case file and motioned for him to follow her as she continued. "You are my last resort before taking care of her myself. None of the other doctors will even go near her."

This made House stop in his tracks and ask, "Is there something you aren't telling me that I should possibly know?"

_Shit. I really shouldn't have said anything and let him find out for himself. _Lisa was mentally berating herself for letting that slip. She finally decided that she would tell him but on one condition. "You have to promise me that you will take this case for me." She was so close to begging that it wasn't even close to funny. _Oh no. He has that look on his face that just screams that he knows that I am almost begging and is loving it._

"Ok, since you begged so nicely. You should do that more often. I read in Cosmo that begging for something is good for your complexion." And then he sped off down the hallway to the Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital psyche ward…as fast as a man with a gimp can.

XOXOXOXOXO

As soon as House got to the elevator, his pager went off. There was a text from James Wilson, one of his closest friends and head of the Oncology (the study of cancer) ward. It read: 'Psych ward NOW!'

_Well, I wonder if Cuddy had to resort to begging with Wilson, or if he just automatically agreed? _

As he headed off the elevator and down the third floor hallway, he got five more pages from Wilson. _And people say that I have no patience_. "I have arrived! Please hold your – _thunk_! Please tell me that I was NOT just hit in the head by a FBP (flying bedpan)."

"Sorry Greg, but we can't get her restrained or sedated. As you can see, everyone is scared shitless to go near her since she bites," Wilson said as House was staring at the patient trying to figure out what is wrong (physically) with her.

"Ok, two questions: How did you get roped into doing this, and what exactly is wrong with her physically that made her go to the clinic?" House replied getting several odd looks as he was moving closer to the patient than anyone else in the room dared. But this action didn't surprise anyone, because House was known to prefer the company of the insane over the company of people who are all there.

"Dr. Wilson? I just sent a sample of her blood to the lab so we have a rough idea of what is going on here."

"Thank you Evan."

Evan nodded and went to go check another patient when all of a sudden, all hell broke loose. The patient, Pauline Wright, decided to make a break for it when she saw the door open. In order to do this, she had to get past Dr. House, so she decided to grab his cane from him, whapped him in his bad leg with it, and beat Wilson and everyone else between her and the door out of her way. The last thing House saw was a red burst behind his eyes from the pain in his leg as he collapsed to the floor.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

"Lily, help get House off the ground; Nick, you and Phil go after Pauline, page me when you find her; and everyone else do whatever you need to do," Wilson started to say quietly and calmly, but when he figured out that no one could hear him, he had to yell.

"Wilson, help me to my office," House started, but then turned to the intern that had a wheelchair for him and said "Go put that damn thing somewhere where someone that really needs it can use it. I have a perfectly good human crutch named Wilson right here."

As soon as they got to House's office, Wilson dug out the spare cane and bottle of vicodin that he knew were in the file cabinet while House tried not to scream from the pain. House could finally open his eyes long enough to read the results of the blood work from Pauline. "Wilson, we have a problem. Blood work is showing nothing but a case of the flu. So now that tells us two things: she came to the clinic because she needed antibiotics, and we have to catch her because as far as I know, flu doesn't cause people to go after doctors and bite people," House commented.

All of a sudden, Nick (one of the interns that was sent to look for her) came running into the office and hiding (or trying and failing) to hide behind a plant. "She's following me and saying 'I see you Dr. House!' ! Dr. House, I strongly suggest you get under your desk and write your will. She is out to get you."

"Hmmm, this could work to our advantage. Wilson, I need you to go get the priest from the chapel and then get a room ready with restraints. I think I know what needs to be done. Page Nick and I the room number when you get the priest into the room. Nick, you are going to be earning some extra money today. Right out of my pocket at that!"

Before Nick could even begin to enquire as to why, House grabbed his emergency over-night kit out of the file cabinet and made Nick follow him to an empty room.

XOXOXOXOXO

_Where is he? I just saw him duck down this hallway like five seconds ago. _Pauline thought as she wandered the hall looking for her prey, the ever elusive Dr. Gregory House. So far, all she had been able to find was that stupid intern that had been trying to find her, but then ran in fear when he did, sleeping in a-- AHA! She started to creep up on House when he turned around and in his head, he heard the Psycho theme start playing in his head.

_Hobble! Hobble like the wind! _was House's thoughts as he tried to out 'run' the psycho until he got the page from Wilson, which happened about three minutes into the chase. _Who would have thought that trying to fake a real gimp while 'running' away from someone would be so tiring? On to room 314! Catch me if you can._

Little did Pauline know that as she was chasing who she thought to be Greg House, the intern that she thought to be Nick Jericho was wheeling to the same room.

XOXOXOXOXO

After a very awkward 20 minute chase, Dr. House ducked into the room where Wilson was waiting with the priest. "She's right behind me! Get ready to sedate her and strap her down."

"Nick? Why are you wearing Dr. House's clothes?" Wilson queried just before Pauline came through the door and started to approach Dr. House with the stolen cane. She raised the cane to hit him in the leg just as someone snuck up behind her and gave her a strong sedative right in the tush.

"Get her strapped down right now before she can wake up and wreak more havoc," Nick said as he was getting the dropped cane and getting out of a wheel chair.

Wilson finally snapped out of his state of confusion long enough to get her strapped on the bed with the restraints. The priest that has been waiting patiently in the corner determines what is wrong with her that was making her act crazier than a shit-house rat; she is possessed. He performed an exorcism on the demon and quietly left them to their business, which was continued in the conference room by House's office after getting her a proper room and an antibiotic drip for the flu.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

"Will someone please explain to me why Nick is wearing House's clothes and House is in scrubs…and is clean shaven?" Wilson starts to ask/yell.

"I figured that if she was looking for me and she almost caught up, he could run. He looks a lot like me, only clean-shaven. So we just did a simple wardrobe change and I shaved so that I looked like him and he looked like me. Does that explain everything now?" House replied while getting his Gameboy out.

"Yeah, but who is going to explain to Cuddy why we are going to have to pay the priest for an exorcism, why you are clean shaven, and the rest of the situation?" Wilson started in again.

"Well, let's see. Nick, do you want to make some more money?"


End file.
